So I was going to write a big post about how the BART trains in Berkeley--it stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit apparently--whenever they're just about to come to a full stop all make a sound like that part in Come Sail Away by Styx right before the weird whale song synthesizer breakdown ends and the guitar kicks back in and it starts to rule again, which always reminds me of the first episode of Freaks and Geeks when Sam is at the dance at the end, so that I'm all fired up but also close to weeping every time I get on the train, and if only public transportation was this emotional for more people everyone would take it instead of driving. But then after I finished watching Scrubs something called Victoria Beckham: Coming to America came on and it robbed me of my will to live. I just don't understand how she gets a show. Being the most attractive Spice Girl is like being the most apologetic German at Nuremberg. You really shouldn't get any credit for it, no matter how handsome of a dude you marry afterwards.
I was looking through the journal I kept when I took that trip a while back and I saw this announcement I heard while I was in George Bush airport in Houston: "Any inappropriate comments or jokes about security may result in your arrest." At first I assumed I was just messing around and made it up, but I must have known I wouldn't believe myself because there was a note next to the quote: "They just said this over the loudspeaker. You didn't make it up." God bless America. I also found two creepy pictures that I took while I was in Germany. I'll post them once I find a scanner so they can haunt your nightmares the same way they've been haunting mine.
But check this out. Yeah I have a reading next Thursday, July 26th, at 7 pm in San Francisco. It's through Green Apple Books at a place called the 540 Club--which is a bar--so the odds of a travesty where I fall down at some point and get hurt real bad are extraordinarily high. Come on out, because if nobody shows up I'm going to look like an ass...........Paul
I only wished I lived in the bay area so I could come hear you read, but sadly vancouver, bc is a bit far for public transit, and while the grayhound trip down would most likely present some of the worlds most colourful characters, as a starving student (living at home) I can't afford it, but I shall be there in spirit, I promise to have some miller high life that morning for you!
also, do you like harry potter? I hope you don't so that you write a scathing comment about how its a load of crap, boy do I hate harry potter and all that it entails, I mean who goes to a midnight lunch party for a book?! By the way if you have a party for this book at midnight Paul, I'll be there!
Posted by: Devin | July 22, 2007 at 01:15 AM
I'm seventeen and I'd love to come to the 540 Club and meet you. It's a bar. How am I gonna swing this?
Posted by: Nick | July 22, 2007 at 02:02 AM
hey man, yea you should work something out with the bar so that under 21'ers can come and not drink miller high life. read the book, great job. very funny. cant wait for the next.
Posted by: fred | July 23, 2007 at 09:03 PM
I bought your book from a Barnes and Noble in Central Virginia. It was the first time I'd been in a B & N in about 2 years.
I was browsing the bargain shelves (college student) and happened to see a public bathroom sign about to shoot itself. It was the only copy sitting on that table. So I took a chance and it turned out to be worth my time.
I started reading at about 10pm that night and didn't stop until about 5am. I couldn't stop, I was compelled.
So, good job. But I remember the old adage: every writer has about 10,000 pages of drivel in them so it's good to start early.
Do you have any earlier published writings?
Posted by: sam | July 25, 2007 at 05:40 AM
How did the reading go?
Posted by: Kaitlin | July 29, 2007 at 03:37 PM
hola paul! i heard you amde it back to Berkley safe and sound, good to hear.
it was great meeting you, you are as much of a character as i suspected which is wicked awesome. ( i said wicked because of the NJ/MA connection).
lets get a beer sometime....i swear, no chartruse.
Posted by: erin | August 01, 2007 at 03:35 PM
The reading was a good time. They had a wireless microphone and a chair for me to sit in which worked out nice because once the green chartreuse kicked in I really couldn't feel my legs. Green Apple Books is my new San Francisco bookstore and the 540 Club is my go to bar. Thanks to everybody for coming out--and especially to Nick and Jamie and Abbye for setting it up--and yeah Erin I'll be back in there again soon. Maybe next time I'll drink that water, but I doubt it.
Sorry you guys couldn't get in Nick and Fred. I blame your parents for not having you sooner. I was going to say just get a fake ID somewhere but it's better off you didn't. The bouncer was really nice but he was also a giant. It would have been terrifying trying to sneak past him. His fist was the size of my head, and I've got a big fucking head.
The only other writing I ever had published before the book was in my high school's literary magazine, and they refused to print my favorite story. It was about a guy who beat the crap out of Santa Claus one Christmas Eve because he'd always given him girls presents when he was little, which triggered a lifelong sexual identity crisis. This was before that movie Boys Don't Cry, so nobody knew what was going on. The faculty advisor was not amused, and my guidance counselor started paying a lot more attention to me. I mostly wrote in journals after that..........Paul
Posted by: Paul Neilan | August 01, 2007 at 07:07 PM