I Threw My Dirty Clothes In The Garbage And Went Back To Bed Instead

I found this picture in the laundry room of my building the other day and it made me sad to be alive:

I think it's from one of those weight loss scams like in Requiem For A Dream where they'll give her a perm and then photoshop another less horrific body under her head for the After shot, to show what she'll look like a month later when she's toned and skinny and addicted to crank. It'd be nice if they took a picture from when she was a little girl in a frilly dress blowing out the candles on her birthday cake--wishing she'll be a ballerina princess when she grows up--and used that as the Before, then made this one of her flexing the guns with a newspaper up her ass the real After. It would be a much more accurate portrayal of what it's like to grow up than any movie I've ever seen. Either way I'm using this as my official author photograph from now on...........Paul

Comments

[Jake]

Eeeeergh.... That just makes you want to shake all over, doesn't it?
Very, very funny observations, as always.

I'd just like to know what kind of horrible financial or mob-related trouble these people must be in that someone can say to them, "OK, now, once you've finished that thirteenth Twinkie, we want you to get into a bikini so small that your own bloated flesh will overlap and cover most of it."
Then, once they've done that, the photographer actually continues with, "Alright, now look like you're ready to kick some ass, or like someone has just cut in front of you in the buffet line at Golden Coral."

Anyway, that's my two cents. Good luck trying to keep from seeing that picture every time you close your eyes.

[Robert]

just disgusting....

[Robert]

what about a new entry?

[Spencer Dewispealere]

I'd hate to know what the after picture looks like.